Jesse M., age 14, North Carolina

Susan Schnable died this morning at 7:55.  Sometimes I wonder what death will really be like.  I really hope its peaceful.  I remember a few years ago I told Laura that I wanted to die in my sleep.  She said “But then you won’t be able to say goodbye to anyone”.  Think about it; dying in your sleep almost guarantees a peaceful departure.  But I think that I would rather be sure to say goodbye and I love you.  I pray to God that I die old.  I want to have a long, happy life.  One that is worth remembering.  I think I saw this one thing on an Army or Navy commercial.  It said: “If someone wrote a book about your life, would anyone want to read it?”  I hope I live an exciting, interesting life.  Laura has told me many good insights, if that makes any sense.  I remember we were in Boone, NC at Sy and Kelly’s (and then Aaron/Kristin/Laura/etc’s) house on Gordon Day Road. She had one of those yellow legal pads.  She was always very into writing and would carry one around to write on.  (Soon after, of course, I wanted a yellow legal pad to write on, too. Same with marine biology; she liked it, I liked it).  Anyways, we were at the kitchen table (I remember our positions and everything –> I remember odd stuff like that for no apparent reason) and I asked her “how do you think of stuff to write about?” And she answered “good writers don’t have to think about things to write about.  It just comes to them.”  That left a big impact on me. Not long ago (well, yeah, it kinda was, now that I think about it) I put papers in this little hole in the wall at the bottom of my bed.  I put some papers that I wrote in there.  And one day I found a note from my mom, saying she loved me, etc.  I don’t remember putting it there or reading it before.  I think I asked her about it but she said she didn’t remember putting it there either.  But that hole goes down a long way, and the papers fell.  Someday, I’ll get them out.  Because whenever I was mad at mom I would read it and feel better.