Marcy S., age 20, Tennessee


Alarm went off at 6:30 and up I got. It seemed a shorter night than when I go to bed late. Cloudy, damp, rainy morn but nice. Sneaked out and went home to practice. Got Mum up at 7. To work at 8:30. The trouble with polishing my nails is that I want to sit and admire them all the time! Well, we were busy right from the start with letters and contracts, etc. It seemed different somehow — not like other Monday mornings, perhaps because it is my last. Then about 10a a whole gang of men came in and 2 of them took the deposition of Mr. Littleton in some lawsuit. They wanted me to take it on the typewriter instead of in shorthand and I didn’t know whether I could do it or not. But they talked slow enough and I got along famously. At the end of the first page one of the lawyers said it was a better job than they’d ever had done. Well, we pegged away till nearly 12. Mr. H. left before we were through. I felt so free and clean and — oh as if I were a tree that had just been revived by a summer rain. I think it’s freedom from the thought of Ashley because it doesn’t matter now whether he’s gone or not. I have at last conquered, although it is no virtue of mine. Home to a good dinner and to tell Mum the news. Back at 1. It still seemed different and I felt different somehow. Was planning to go to Red Cross tonight but found that the rooms don’t open till tomorrow. The men came back and Mr. Smith paid me $2.50. Kimmie called right in the midst of things but it was rather important. Something about Pan and the show. We decided to go tonight. She was all apologies for having bothered me. Mr. H. was in conference most of the afternoon. I finished So Little Time. Then there were some papers right at the last minute and I was late leaving. It was trying to clear. Stopped by Kim’s to tell her about Mrs. Walker. She wouldn’t have minded except that she had a coed and didn’t want to expose Alice Ann. We thrashed it out and eventually decided that she could stay at Mrs. Massey’s just as well, although I wasn’t so happy about the whole thing. Still, it couldn’t be helped. On home to discover it was almost 6!! Bath and late supper. Pop home. About 7:30 I left. Sort of half-way clear. When I was at Mother Lane’s I saw a man coming over the hill and I thought of Ashley but I didn’t really think it was he ’cause he had a hat on. And I didn’t fully recognize him till we passed ’cause it was almost dark under the trees. He said, “Hey, Pattie” and I said “Hi”, rather distantly, I fear, but I had been taken by surprise and my heart was doing the trip-hammer number. Then he asked “How are you feeling?” And I replied, “Just fine” and that was that. I was happy but not as I would have been once. On down to Kimmie’s. Pan was just leaving for band practice. Kim finally issued forth, all dressed for fall. We walked up to Mrs. Marsh’s and Kim. left something. Then down to the show. Sat in balcony. Saw March of Time (British Imperialism 1944) and Dorothy Lamour, Fred MacMurray and Betty Hutton in “And the Angels Sing.” Betty Hutton is so funny — when she sang with gestures (a mild word) “His Rocking-Horse Ran Away”, I thought I’d die!! Well, not really, but you know. Out about 10. Stopped by Kim’s while she got her things for the night. Just as we were leaving Pan and Betsy came in with Jim Carroll and Albert Sissom. Left Kim at Kay’s and hurried home. Light in Ashley’s room. Mrs. Walker had just called so I grabbed everything and ran. She didn’t mind my being late. Wants me to stay with A.A. Friday night. Extra money! Said she had a compliment for me. Her sister Grace said I was very attractive. Hmm! To bed about 11. That beautiful mattress!